The Kingfishers Catch Fire

I am loving this poem. Happy to share it with you!

 

As Kingfishers Catch Fire

By. Gerard Manley Hopkins

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;

As tumbled over rim in roundy wells

Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s

Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;

Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:

Deal out that being indoors each one dwells;

Selves – goes itself; myself it it speaks and spells,

Crying ‘What I do is me: for that I came.’

I say more: the just man justices;

Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;

Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is –

Christ- for Christ plans in ten thousand places,

Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his

To the Father the features of men’s faces.

 

 

 

Many things…such as loving,

going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly…

are done worst when we try hardest to do them.

-C. S. Lewis

Jesus

Come in, O strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, cover all my powers, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earthbound soul, and float it right up to my Lord’s feet, and there let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by his love, having no virtue or value; and only venturing to whisper to him that if he will put his ear to me, he will hear within my heart faint echoes of the vast waves of his own love which have brought me where it is my delight to lie, even at his feet forever. 

-Spurgeon

Sand Castles

Yesterday, I wrote that God is the wave machine. Well today that guy turned the machine up to 11. They were full of might, knocking down everything in their way. Sometimes, I think I am waterproof so even though the waves were huge I thought I could hack it, umm… nadda. I stayed out for a bit but they were sending me straight back in, and I have sand burn to prove it. Completely jumbled up I gave into the safety of the shore. My little friend Rylie helped end this life risking behavior when she decided to become an architect of the most wonderful sand castle on the beach.

Oh, she had dreams for this thing. She is already quite the pace setter and leader saying things like, “We can’t give up, just because we need an extra deep moat.” and “Isn’t it the most great day!”

As we were working hard to get the moat to reach the ocean I heard Rylie make a noise of disappointment. One of her buildings in the middle, the one with the feathers on top, had crumbled after much beautification. This is when the teachable moment inserted itself… Her momma came over and started bringing the buckets back out. Then together they began to firmly pack sand like they had done earlier. As they were working I saw this mom get real close to her daughters face and with soft spoken boldness say,

“Don’t worry Rylie. We can always re-build.”

There it was.  An ooooozing of this deeply imbedded, Christ like wisdom. I really liked how she used the word “always.” Gosh, I hope I can say things like that to my kids someday. And I hope I don’t say things like…”Let me do it for you.” or “Awww, yeah it sure is ruined. Just scrape it and find something else to do like… throw bread a seagulls.”

Part of becoming more like Christ is this “always” building and rebuilding. If you want to be more like Him you have to get used to it. Actually, if we have the right glasses on we should be joyful. But, not many find rebuilding enjoyable because it is hard work. And, there can be gritty emotions like failure and loss. This is not a lifestyle for those who are comfort mongers.

Don’t be scared. God is into making all things new, and breathing life into dead men. He loves us, and so when the un-sturdy parts fall He says things like… “Let’s do this again and you should let me carry it this time.” and “I like this part… but lets add a little more _______ and do less _____.”

I think in the end, (which is what matters) we are more fulfilled with the castles that we worked really hard on… building and rebuilding… there is more joy when with God, we build something that lasts.

Rest

Today I am reporting to you live from the beach. I think I should have been born with gills… I love water. I am the jump in it, flutter around, splash people kind. Sorry in advance if that kind of water lovin’ bothers you. Looking at the ocean and all its’ vastness make you stop. You can’t take your eyes off it, even when all your friends are ready to go, shouting at you. The ocean makes me know that God is big and I need to recall that daily.

So yes, the ocean makes me stop. Stopping is an art form. Meaning, to rest and make your mind shut off is something you have to work at. Or if you stop too much you become someone who floats through life. Isn’t it ironic… even resting takes effort and thought. I have caught myself wanting to be busy because when I am busy I don’t have to process thoughts/emotions and I don’t have to tell people no. So this week I have pulled out of my gut somewhere the want to really let myself go there. It has been so hard.

That might sound annoying to some of you… “poor thing has to go on vacation to Florida and she is having a hard time RELAXING… Booo.” Haven’t you ever just not wanted to rest? In your little self awareness bubble you know that if you let down, you may really LET DOWN. And those kind of let downs are not fun. Not resting can be a form of avoidance and can look a lot like fear.

So I am choosing to not be that 5 year old who has to be coaxed into taking a nap, even though she is much nicer after she has had one. Or the 29 year old who has to be given a reprimand to enjoy FLORIDA! God is so good. He is the wave machine, knows the number of grains of sand on the shore, and He knows the exact condition of my heart. Evidence of his goodness is all around me… and I am going to rest in that!

Life, Love and Other Mysteries: Part About Music

A lot of my “discretionary spending” happens with a quick click on I-Tunes. Music can explain things in ways my words often can not. I can identify really quickly with a song, or an artist because I fully support the verse in Luke 6 that says,

“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Music requires an overflow of the heart, especially for those singer/songwriter types. Many times someone will ask me how I am feeling and none of my mixed up words seem to say what I think. However, I can usually find a song that says it exactly. I have heard someone say, “Music makes you feel a feeling.” AGREED!

A few specific topics when combined with just the right melody get me every time. I will click that I-Tunes button so fast… even if I have $20 in my checking account. 1. The topic of Love 2. Free Spirited-ness (probably not a real word) 3. Hope

Here is my album of  songs… that combine love, free spirited-ness, and hope. Some are old, some are new. Wishing you the encouragement I feel when I hear these. Enjoy.

17: Sentimental Heart: She and Him

16: When A Man Loves A Women: Percy Sledge

15: I Do It For You (Live): Bryan Adams (The live part is really important)

14: Forever: Ben Harper

13: Whatever It Is: Zac Brown Band

12: Hey, Hey, Hey : Michael Franti

11: Story: Brandi Carlile

10. She’s Got A Way: Billy Joel

9. Dancing In the Mine Fields: Andrew Peterson

8. Rolling In The Deep: Adele ( this song is best played loud, and you should know later in the album her anger is gone)

7. Your Love Is A Song: Switchfoot

6. Fields Of Gold (New Version): Sting

5. Hold You In My Arms: Ray LaMontagne (“Love is a poor man’s food”)

4. Father, Daughter: Paul Simon ( “I am gonna watch you shine, watch you grown, paint a sign so you always know”)

3. Till Kingdom Comes: Coldplay

2. Just Like The Moon: Brett Deneen (also digging his new song “Sydney”)

1. Brown Eye Girl: Van Morrison ( almost all his other songs could go on here too!)

Friendship Train

I have a good mom. She shoots me straight all too often. It is sobering because she is always an advocate for “the other guy.” So if you are ever worried that I am talking badly about you to my mom, you are mistaken. She doesn’t like that kind of chatter. One of the phrases I heard frequently when I was growing up was…

“If you want a friend, be a friend!”

Then she would gently tell me that my expectations of my friends were exaggerated because I myself didn’t work hard at being that kind of friend. She was right. I hope that since those childhood years that I have become  better at this. It is an ongoing process isn’t it? Figuring out how to show people how much we value and love them.

Recently, I have hit a patch where I need my friends. I need them to be my extra eyes, reminders, and prayer support. So, in this need I have seen even more the importance of having my close friends be people I can trust and know without a doubt that they are James 3 kind of wise. I have been refreshed by them day after day not because they coital my current inclinations but because they know the balance of sitting beside me and pushing me.

One of my favorite bloggers, Michael Hyatt recently wrote a post about the things he looks for in a friend and in the same way the friend he wants to be. I pretty much agree with all of these….

*Shows up for me in a crisis

*Listens empathetically without passing judgement

*Is willing to pitch in when I am too embarrassed to ask

*Affirms me when I doubt myself

*Reminds me of who I am when I forget

*Celebrates my wins, mourns my losses

*Remembers the things that are important to me

*Trusts me with their secrets

Here is being really, really good to each other and treating others as highly valuable!

When You Feel Stomped On

…When you feel a little stomped on … read this… a new perspective will set in!

“His Grace is Sufficient”

By Charles Spurgeon

If none of God’s saints were poor and tried, we should not know half so well the consolations of divine grace. When we find the wanderer who has not where to lay his head, who yet can say, “Still will I trust in the Lord;” when we see the pauper starving on bread and water, who still glories in Jesus; when we see the bereaved widow overwhelmed in affliction, and yet having faith in Christ, oh! what honour it reflects on the gospel. God’s grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring-that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily, or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as he is pleased to keep them in it. This patience of the saints proves the power of divine grace. There is a lighthouse out at sea: it is a calm night-I cannot tell whether the edifice is firm; the tempest must rage about it, and then I shall know whether it will stand. So with the Spirit’s work: if it were not on many occasions surrounded with tempestuous waters, we should not know that it was true and strong; if the winds did not blow upon it, we should not know how firm and secure it was. The master-works of God are those men who stand in the midst of difficulties, stedfast, unmoveable,-

“Calm mid the bewildering cry,
Confident of victory.”

He who would glorify his God must set his account upon meeting with many trials. No man can be illustrious before the Lord unless his conflicts be many. If then, yours be a much-tried path, rejoice in it, because you will the better show forth the all-sufficient grace of God. As for his failing you, never dream of it-hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end.

 

 

Haiti Guest Blog

I got the chance to guest blog again! I love the chance to write about my experiences… it helps me make sure I have fully marinated on the trips…. This one was was on www.jennspiration.wordpress.com

Shelter

Your shelter can be a structure made of cement, mud, steel, or wood. It can have a roof of tin or shingles all perfectly placed. It could be that special tree you sit under with your family on Sundays. It might be the job you have worked at for 20 years or that person who would leave that same job to sit beside you in your most weak time.

We all like a place we can let down and feel completely at ease. We need somewhere to rest and when we find that it is better than gold. We hug it tightly and put up pictures, speak vows, make friendships, and settle in. Soon you can’t imagine this shelter not being there and you wake up each day expecting it.

Then it happens, because it happens to all… You find yourself in a place where your shelter is gone.

On my most recent trip to Haiti I was at church and in an open room, filled with dark eyes one little pair stood out.  Finea Fique was soon standing right beside me latched onto my side saying nothing just latching. She was just six but I noticed her eyes seemed to say she was stoic and full of wisdom. She talked rarely but skipped everywhere.  I had made an instant friend!

Finea is the pastor’s daughter. When I figured this out I knew why I sensed the strength in her.  She had been through a lot during the earthquake. They lost special people. The home, church, and school that her family had built with prayers, and hard work all fell. While they were grieving they also were the people the community came to for assurance that there was hope.

Their new home was now a spot in a cement building that was half intact. There were cracks and crumbling but this was now shelter. They had very, very little in their home but they did have an extremely large, beautiful dinner table. The chairs had been carved out with detail and the seats had crushed velvet. Each day they would ask us to please come over for dinner.  So, after our work we would all gather around this large table in a half standing home and enjoy one another. Anyone who came by was invited in.

One afternoon this picture of resilience stirred me. In an effort to not cry in front of all these strong people I went outside and found a temporary seat on some blocks. I was praying in run on sentences and questioning God all at once…

“How can God ask people to endure so much? God I am mad that kids had to go through this… Could I be this joyful, under these conditions? Is my faith weak? Do I trust in things that do not last? Why do I have so much security and others have none?..”

Then little Miss Finea came skipping along. She stared at me for an awkward amount of time and then spoke in English, “I am doing very okay, Angela.” Then she played with my hair and wiped the dirt off my hands with her little white dress.

Here is a simple life lesson from a Haitian 6 year old… Our shelters in life can come from homes, people, jobs, and vows. These are all very good things called blessings. However, these sorts of shelters are moment-to-moment. They will crumble and they will not endure. This is the nature of our world.  It is right to cherish these blessings but we can’t stack our security on top of them.

Finae had to learn at a very young age that our only lasting shelter is the refuge we take in the Most High God. On the last day in my attempt to say goodbye Finea yanked on my shirt, which brought me down to her level. She spoke some speedy sounding Creole and ran off.  Our translator smiled, took a long pause and told me she said…

“God never ever leaves us!”

Blan Girl an Ayiti: Day Two

We woke up and were out the door by 6:15 AM. The drive in the morning is like a crazier version of Mario Kart. Cars, trucks, buses drive where ever and however they want. We turned the music up loud and jumped into the game. Driving in Haiti is by far one of the most dangerous things you can do. Our hosts told us this numerous times. But on this day we arrived safely at our first stop which was a very special school. It is in a town called ‘Graci-a.’ We came to see what our end goal would look like for the school we adopted in Dufur.

It is surrounded by a big concrete wall but inside you see a field of kids wearing brightly colored gingham uniforms and big smiles. They quickly spotted us and I got many hugs. They just latch on and stare. I could just play at the school all day but the guys mean business with this construction stuff.

We headed to the sight of our church’s sponsored school. We raised $100,000 this year to build this school so it was fun to finally see walls going up. I put on my work gloves and laughed a lot. There was a little girl from across the street named Tika who became my buddy. She would sit by me in the rubble and juggle rocks. Kids here can make toys out of ANYTHING. The Haitian work crew is a ton of fun. They loved to hum American songs to me like Usher, and Alicia Keys. When I would sing along in English they would unleash! It is nice to make people laugh so easily just with my singing….

Tonight we were introduced to the local church. They put on a special night for us full of singing… a lot of Creole going on. Haitians also like their music loud…they sing it out… holding nothing back! I would recognize the tunes to the hymns and would la la la along. The highlight of the day was watching my fearless leader Ted Burden who is a pastor at my church give an impromptu 20 minute sermon. The people were in awe and were very engaged. He was in his niche.

We ate a late dinner of ketchup sandwiches and had a little pow wow about our impressions of our first day. I was excited to lay down on my concrete bed and turn out my black light. I was spent… because my day was well spent!